Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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