I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize