everyone is single if you try hard enough
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
