i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
