rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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