I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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