My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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