doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Farmville is her only friend.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
