hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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