I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
