Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
