He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
