i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
