At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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