the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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