I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
