"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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