it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
