I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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