They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
