I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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