In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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