i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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