i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
What drink are we having for lunch?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
