At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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