areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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