We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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