Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
