Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
