return my video game
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Your tits are I can't wait for
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
