STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
