remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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