The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need to align my fucking chakras
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
