I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
