you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my shit smells like andre
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
