im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
