I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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