OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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