sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
