There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
