Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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