How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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