thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
