only you would photoshop your dick
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
