Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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