Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you're going for the gold here.

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  (906): i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage. (989): you're going for the gold here. http://tfl.nu/773u
  Replies (9) Good night (2722) Bad night (530)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.

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  (301): so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first. http://tfl.nu/lqfv
  Replies (5) Good night (3200) Bad night (654)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off

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  (717): he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off http://tfl.nu/z28p
  Replies (39) Good night (6922) Bad night (2202)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.

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  (203): You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace. http://tfl.nu/24s5
  Replies (48) Good night (7085) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"

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  (434): you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek" http://tfl.nu/8u1v
  Replies (10) Good night (3687) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus

  (1-409): View more from Texas

  How are you texting me from 1998?

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  (409): We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus (1-409): How are you texting me from 1998? http://tfl.nu/t1vq
  Replies (27) Good night (8708) Bad night (1238)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.

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  (785): Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up. http://tfl.nu/s8n4
  Replies (14) Good night (2698) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES

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  (347): GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES http://tfl.nu/oz7x
  Replies (2) Good night (1737) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Dick in a box?

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  (757): Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm (1-757): Dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/x7sn
  Replies (13) Good night (4526) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal

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  (440): I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal http://tfl.nu/vouk
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states

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  (631): its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states http://tfl.nu/czgf
  Replies (22) Good night (652) Bad night (1325)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.

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  (801): At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it. http://tfl.nu/2oiv
  Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details

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  (425): Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details http://tfl.nu/91yu
  Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.

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  (216): I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week. http://tfl.nu/slhb
  Replies (3) Good night (256) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.

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  (702): I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics. http://tfl.nu/p59u
  Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (436)

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