So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!