Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?

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  (850): Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today? http://tfl.nu/xk43
  Replies (54) Good night (991) Bad night (4557)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No stitches, just platelets and will power

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  (215): No stitches, just platelets and will power http://tfl.nu/pdnf
  Replies (6) Good night (3045) Bad night (580)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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  (401): The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster. http://tfl.nu/0ncd
  Replies (16) Good night (1086) Bad night (4957)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode

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  (321): I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode http://tfl.nu/96an
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (3164)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.

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  (316): toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials. http://tfl.nu/kc0s
  Replies (18) Good night (1128) Bad night (4887)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.

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  (979): I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that. http://tfl.nu/fwoy
  Replies (1) Good night (1089) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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  (305): i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes. http://tfl.nu/n4c7
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  don't pay it forward

  (1-315): View more from New York

  I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced

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  (315): don't pay it forward (1-315): I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced http://tfl.nu/bffp
  Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked

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  (415): my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked http://tfl.nu/w9k0
  Replies (7) Good night (2703) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..

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  (201): The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in.. http://tfl.nu/ctm0
  Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.

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  (702): Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent. http://tfl.nu/joa6
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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  (724): If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant. http://tfl.nu/s61d
  Replies (1) Good night (1163) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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  (612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am

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  (970): My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am http://tfl.nu/7eir
  Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.

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  (440): im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good. http://tfl.nu/7xj8
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (231)

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