My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
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I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...