He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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