Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.

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  (803): so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points. http://tfl.nu/u3st
  Replies (51) Good night (5220) Bad night (1005)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.

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  (847): she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick. http://tfl.nu/abnm
  Replies (20) Good night (7999) Bad night (1256)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?

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  (307): you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right? http://tfl.nu/h1i3
  Replies (7) Good night (4251) Bad night (1254)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?

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  (303): The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them? http://tfl.nu/7mcl
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (2416)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  How did you break your hand eating pizza?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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  (603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz
  Replies (7) Good night (2709) Bad night (885)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.

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  (716): He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him. http://tfl.nu/aojd
  Replies (10) Good night (2562) Bad night (1095)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

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  (775): all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now. http://tfl.nu/wlt7
  Replies (16) Good night (2510) Bad night (955)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.

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  (816): Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand. http://tfl.nu/c0ji
  Replies (14) Good night (769) Bad night (2141)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.

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  (201): I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free. http://tfl.nu/mbnk
  Replies (4) Good night (2518) Bad night (881)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD

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  (815): i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD http://tfl.nu/w0y8
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (525)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.

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  (847): I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying. http://tfl.nu/v59j
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (689)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?

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  (630): I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about? http://tfl.nu/f79i
  Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (522)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?

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  (850): I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now? http://tfl.nu/f3ul
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (384)
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  (714): View more from California

  I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!

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  (714): I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really! http://tfl.nu/ol8j
  Replies (0) Good night (302) Bad night (391)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?

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  (608): Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/2ign
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (233)

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