I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial