Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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