Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house

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  (512): My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house http://tfl.nu/7hx1
  Replies (2) Good night (1118) Bad night (1347)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

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  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (1335) Bad night (7201)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

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  (803): you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila. http://tfl.nu/o38m
  Replies (36) Good night (1380) Bad night (6361)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.

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  (970): I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not. http://tfl.nu/wxss
  Replies (19) Good night (7535) Bad night (989)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside

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  (570): you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside http://tfl.nu/jkpy
  Replies (8) Good night (3331) Bad night (1014)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.

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  (763): Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always. http://tfl.nu/ugs1
  Replies (11) Good night (2245) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE

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  (516): WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE http://tfl.nu/y0z3
  Replies (10) Good night (1437) Bad night (3446)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.

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  (513): I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud. http://tfl.nu/lhri
  Replies (10) Good night (1361) Bad night (1725)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.

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  (972): Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday. http://tfl.nu/3qlk
  Replies (4) Good night (1591) Bad night (601)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?

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  (870): Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with? http://tfl.nu/z4e7
  Replies (31) Good night (612) Bad night (2460)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

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  (817): Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window." http://tfl.nu/43ug
  Replies (10) Good night (2027) Bad night (515)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.

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  (270): Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer. http://tfl.nu/rbji
  Replies (0) Good night (901) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.

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  (+27): This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud. http://tfl.nu/fqpz
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (355)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.

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  (720): I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud. http://tfl.nu/er8q
  Replies (0) Good night (732) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.

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  (407): I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter. http://tfl.nu/s90t
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (278)

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