Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3782) Bad night (683)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.

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  (248): Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox (1-248): You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities. http://tfl.nu/l19y
  Replies (85) Good night (2825) Bad night (9104)
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  (909): View more from California

  and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.

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  (909): and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore. http://tfl.nu/590e
  Replies (23) Good night (6091) Bad night (1413)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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  (501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1
  Replies (18) Good night (10246) Bad night (1883)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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  (513): He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/uxq8
  Replies (4) Good night (3266) Bad night (814)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.

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  (218): I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble. http://tfl.nu/uwsi
  Replies (6) Good night (3270) Bad night (913)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.

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  (303): I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window. http://tfl.nu/dr4o
  Replies (5) Good night (3191) Bad night (838)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.

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  (413): Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night. http://tfl.nu/jhax
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (1608)
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  (+90): View more from Turkey

  I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.

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  (+90): I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later. http://tfl.nu/oo4d
  Replies (7) Good night (484) Bad night (1140)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

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  (205): I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos. http://tfl.nu/nbvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1807) Bad night (670)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.

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  (501): You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie. http://tfl.nu/eccp
  Replies (4) Good night (2152) Bad night (567)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1567) Bad night (457)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

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  (610): Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos? http://tfl.nu/shbv
  Replies (5) Good night (1028) Bad night (603)
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  (916): View more from California

  I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

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  (916): I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed... http://tfl.nu/imcz
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (181)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too

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  (610): like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too http://tfl.nu/4cqb
  Replies (1) Good night (164) Bad night (322)

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