I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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