so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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