Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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