the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
