Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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