This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
