she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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