I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
