I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
