is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
