I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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