I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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