if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
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She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
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I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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