i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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