he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
